Since waking up this morning, there have been two air raid sirens, calling us to find immediate safe shelter.
The first one came just as I was in the middle of my morning meditation.
I quickly gathered my two cats and brought them inside, which wasn't so easy. They were bewildered and kept jumping from my arms. The hardest part about that minute, was not knowing if and when a bomb would drop and wipe me out. It is a terrifying feeling.
I got the cats inside and immediately went to sit in the hallway. I burst out into tears... not just tears, sobbing. This hallway is turning into my new altar, where locked between the two bathroom stalls, I intimately turn to God.
"Please forgive us our ignorance. Please forgive Nasrallah for sending the bombs into Israel destroying innocent lives and homes. Please forgive the Israeli army for destroying innocent lives and homes. Please forgive all of our hatred and fear, for we know not any better. Forgive me of my ignorance and hatred, beginning with my own self hatred. Teach me to only love.
I did not ask to be born God. You brought me here. I turn everything over to you: my life, my work, my music, my path, EVERYTHING!!!! on the one condition, that you guide me in the Higher Good. This you must give to me as your daughter.
Let ME be the first to set down my weapons of war. Let ME be the first to live a shining example of the Highest Good. I am literally sick of pretending otherwise.
Please let me sound YOUR voice only!"
This is my prayer as it comes from gut and heart through my fingers onto this page.
AMEN.
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