The affects of post trauma from the explosions:
disorientation, exhaustion, momentary amnesia,
jitters, loss of hearing, sudden outburst of tears is
the most
difficult challenge. Life has continued on, in
certain places, as if the war never happened.
I have more patience and compassion; for myself and everyone who has suffered in Israel, Lebanon, all over the world.
Funny how the ravages of war have enabled me to finally commit - clearly commit to make a cease fire with myself. NO MORE WAR!!!! I remind myself daily.
Never have I felt life so meaningful, even in the midst of the physical exhaustion.
I have made a commitment to give healing music programs to those suffering most from the trauma - Jew and Arab alike, mostly focusing on women and children, for the women are caretakers, repsonsible for giving and to take steps to establish a permanent healing music center and peace gardens.
Who gives to the caregivers? They suffer greatly and are in danger of passing on secondary trauma to the children.
My focus has never been so clear. I feel grateful.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
My prosperity and peace is definately growing. I have been playing the prosperity game that I discovered one day surfing the internet. The site is: www.choosingprosperity.com. I am also receiving more money and I have physically purchased two of my items that I listed on the game wish list!
One was having someone help me clean my house - So, it was a peace meeting as well - Jewish-Arab of the most beautiful kind.
After she finished her work at my home, I took the woman home to her village. She invited me in for coffee and i played with her children. It was a lovely experience of abundant peace.
On the way home, I stopped at the 2000 year old olive orchard and meditated as I chose stones to bring on my tour to the US next month. Each person who attends the Quiet in the Eye of the Storm workshop: will receive a personal stone to take home as a peace keepsake. I hope you will join us.
One was having someone help me clean my house - So, it was a peace meeting as well - Jewish-Arab of the most beautiful kind.
After she finished her work at my home, I took the woman home to her village. She invited me in for coffee and i played with her children. It was a lovely experience of abundant peace.
On the way home, I stopped at the 2000 year old olive orchard and meditated as I chose stones to bring on my tour to the US next month. Each person who attends the Quiet in the Eye of the Storm workshop: will receive a personal stone to take home as a peace keepsake. I hope you will join us.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Moving on after the war
I just came back from Tel Aviv where I spent the last two days recording the audio version of my new book "Quiet in the Eye of the Storm: Living Peace in a War Zone" downloadable on the website
First of all, it was amazing to read out loud, the words that spilled out of my pen onto the paper over the last month of writing during the war.
Did I actually write that? I wondered to myself. My voice sounds so much more at peace. It's amazing, because physically, I am feeling very tired. The blasts and witnessing the explosion took a toll on my body and I am needing rest.
On the other hand, I am feeling very much at ease.
I spent three hours sitting in traffic to get back up north and arrived late to my dance class in Carmiel - site of major bombings. It was our first meeting back since the war has finished.
The energy is very different. People compare notes as to where they fled, what they did, how they managed and "what now"???
We'll see...
First of all, it was amazing to read out loud, the words that spilled out of my pen onto the paper over the last month of writing during the war.
Did I actually write that? I wondered to myself. My voice sounds so much more at peace. It's amazing, because physically, I am feeling very tired. The blasts and witnessing the explosion took a toll on my body and I am needing rest.
On the other hand, I am feeling very much at ease.
I spent three hours sitting in traffic to get back up north and arrived late to my dance class in Carmiel - site of major bombings. It was our first meeting back since the war has finished.
The energy is very different. People compare notes as to where they fled, what they did, how they managed and "what now"???
We'll see...
Friday, August 18, 2006
Last Saturday, as we were at the community pool, I watched a missile drop out of the sky, hissing as it landed and crashed onto the entry of our small village. The blast entered my skin and the inner tubes of my ears. As I write, I feel the shock once again. Fire spit out of the ground and big billows of smoke after it.
Quickly we gathered the children and headed for the underground bunkers for safety. I left late that night for the center of the country, where the missiles did not hit. What I describe below is the reason I was not able to continue writing the same day, nor for the next several.
The following morning, I found it hard to get up. My body felt like it had been run over by a truck. Three days before this explosion, I had been in the line of another attack while at the supermarket (see my previous post). Singing in the shelter, made the shock more easy to absorb.
This evening, I read on this site a very interesting post about audiologist reserach regarding treatment of soliders serving in Iraq. It makes total sense to me.
The way I have been treating myself effectively is by passing a finger from the extreme right to the extreme left of my vision. The eye movement utilizes both the right and left sides of the brain, helping to restore balance.
Inner balance - which also includes emotional balance are also connected to hearing. In Hebrew, the words hearing, ear and balance share the same etymologic roots.
Using myself as a guinea pig, I have been using the first step of the Voices of Eden Healing Music modality, which is silence and focus, along with what I have mentioned above.
The heavy dullness in my head is waning. My energy level is increasing. Consider trying the above exercises if you are paticularly tired.
They are easy to implement and show immediate results.
Quickly we gathered the children and headed for the underground bunkers for safety. I left late that night for the center of the country, where the missiles did not hit. What I describe below is the reason I was not able to continue writing the same day, nor for the next several.
The following morning, I found it hard to get up. My body felt like it had been run over by a truck. Three days before this explosion, I had been in the line of another attack while at the supermarket (see my previous post). Singing in the shelter, made the shock more easy to absorb.
This evening, I read on this site a very interesting post about audiologist reserach regarding treatment of soliders serving in Iraq. It makes total sense to me.
The way I have been treating myself effectively is by passing a finger from the extreme right to the extreme left of my vision. The eye movement utilizes both the right and left sides of the brain, helping to restore balance.
Inner balance - which also includes emotional balance are also connected to hearing. In Hebrew, the words hearing, ear and balance share the same etymologic roots.
Using myself as a guinea pig, I have been using the first step of the Voices of Eden Healing Music modality, which is silence and focus, along with what I have mentioned above.
The heavy dullness in my head is waning. My energy level is increasing. Consider trying the above exercises if you are paticularly tired.
They are easy to implement and show immediate results.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Peace Greetings in the War
I made it safely to the center of the country. I am staying with some friends.
My body feels like a truck ran over it, and I have been sleeping
the entire day. Just checked my emails now... this was among them.
A. (to keep his identity safe) also called this afternoon, to ask
how I am. He heard about the bombing in Amirim this morning:
Hello every body. I wish you are well. Eliana how are you doing?
I hope you are fine after the
bomb in Amereem...I wish things will get better soon.
...
I would like to invite people who are living under the
danger to come to my house to stay there until the war
ends ...
Pleasee dont be hesitate. My house is open for every body
and you are welcome to stay any time ...
Please Eliana put
this invitation onto your web site ...and tell other
people about it ..I really appreciate it.
My family welcomes you also ...
I wish you a better life and a nice time ...Please take good
care. I'm looking forward to hear from you soon
My heart is with you all.
God bless
Sincerely yours ,
A.A.R.
Palestinian Peace Activist
Ramallah, Palestine
My body feels like a truck ran over it, and I have been sleeping
the entire day. Just checked my emails now... this was among them.
A. (to keep his identity safe) also called this afternoon, to ask
how I am. He heard about the bombing in Amirim this morning:
Hello every body. I wish you are well. Eliana how are you doing?
I hope you are fine after the
bomb in Amereem...I wish things will get better soon.
...
I would like to invite people who are living under the
danger to come to my house to stay there until the war
ends ...
Pleasee dont be hesitate. My house is open for every body
and you are welcome to stay any time ...
Please Eliana put
this invitation onto your web site ...and tell other
people about it ..I really appreciate it.
My family welcomes you also ...
I wish you a better life and a nice time ...Please take good
care. I'm looking forward to hear from you soon
My heart is with you all.
God bless
Sincerely yours ,
A.A.R.
Palestinian Peace Activist
Ramallah, Palestine
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Wonder What it's Like to Play Monopoly in a Bomb Shelter?
First of all, the money is in Israeli Shekels. Secondly, Park Ave., in it's Israeli version is Dizengoff Street, the main thoroughfare in Tel Aviv.
This morning, I received a telephone call from Tatiana, a Russian woman who lives in Jerusalem. Yesterday her granddaughter was born in Toronto. They named her Eliana.
Tatiana did a search on the internet for Eliana and discovered my website:
. She immediately called me to find out more about my music, as she too is a music teacher and manager in the Department of Education for Special Needs and Training. Next week Tatiana will travel to Toronto to meet her new granddaughter. She asked if I would be able to prepare and record a personal lullaby in time for her to take it with.
"I have to check it out", I replied. "I am running out the door. When I return, I'll check the postal service and see if we will be able to get something to you on time".
It was funny to receive her call, since from the beginning of the war, there has been absolutely no work. Not even a telephone call about it. Focus in the north is upon physical survival. WE are not allowed to gather in public spaces, and all businesses, including the banks are closed.
I went to the swimming pool to cool off. At exactly two p.m. we heard an intense crash. Looking up at the neighboring hill, I saw orange flames spark upon the green horizon, immediately followed by billows of smoke.
Looking at my friends children who were also at the pool, I quickly told them to gather their belongings. "I'll take care of you. Come with me." "We'll go to the shelter", they replied in unison.
"I've never been to a bomb shelter in my village", I thought to myself. This will be a good opportunity for a new experience.
We quickly arrived and entered into the underground space. I didn't have a moment to become acclimated before DOrit, the youngest asked if I would join them in a game of Monopoly. The board was already opened on the mattresses lining the floor.
(I gotta go now)... I'll continue the rest of the story tomorrow.
Tune in again.
This morning, I received a telephone call from Tatiana, a Russian woman who lives in Jerusalem. Yesterday her granddaughter was born in Toronto. They named her Eliana.
Tatiana did a search on the internet for Eliana and discovered my website:
. She immediately called me to find out more about my music, as she too is a music teacher and manager in the Department of Education for Special Needs and Training. Next week Tatiana will travel to Toronto to meet her new granddaughter. She asked if I would be able to prepare and record a personal lullaby in time for her to take it with.
"I have to check it out", I replied. "I am running out the door. When I return, I'll check the postal service and see if we will be able to get something to you on time".
It was funny to receive her call, since from the beginning of the war, there has been absolutely no work. Not even a telephone call about it. Focus in the north is upon physical survival. WE are not allowed to gather in public spaces, and all businesses, including the banks are closed.
I went to the swimming pool to cool off. At exactly two p.m. we heard an intense crash. Looking up at the neighboring hill, I saw orange flames spark upon the green horizon, immediately followed by billows of smoke.
Looking at my friends children who were also at the pool, I quickly told them to gather their belongings. "I'll take care of you. Come with me." "We'll go to the shelter", they replied in unison.
"I've never been to a bomb shelter in my village", I thought to myself. This will be a good opportunity for a new experience.
We quickly arrived and entered into the underground space. I didn't have a moment to become acclimated before DOrit, the youngest asked if I would join them in a game of Monopoly. The board was already opened on the mattresses lining the floor.
(I gotta go now)... I'll continue the rest of the story tomorrow.
Tune in again.
Friday, August 11, 2006
War, Peace and Figs in the Garden of Eden
The shelling from yesterday and today has left my nerves shattered and brittle.
My body cannot easily tell the difference between a door banging shut from a sudden gust of wind, and the boom of a crashing katyusha missile. The wail of the siren is like nails on a chalkboard to my stomach.
Even so, I am convinced that the darkest hour comes just before the dawn. It's a law of nature. Today, in our deserted village, I roamed the country roads, and picked ripe figs off of the trees. This year because most people have fled to the south for safety, the fruit laden trees hold half pecked figs, eaten by the birds.
The plump ripe figs that I suceeded to pick seemed to cry out to me - "Thank you".
Mother nature whispered in my ear, "I give you all you need to live an abundant and delicious life. If only you humans would stop long enough to remember who it is that provides your every need. If you insist on destroying yourselves and one another, that is your choice of free will. I will silently wait until you are ready to see me and taste the fruit of another way".
Today I remembered the wise advice an acquaintance had given me when I had been laid off of my job in Los Angeles some twenty years ago. She said; "With the time you have left there, love it with all your heart. Be there with all your heart, so that when you leave, you will never have to go back to that situation again."
Thank God I put her advice into practice, for I have never had to go back to "the rat race" again. I realized this morning that I can put this same advice to practice in the war. YES.
I choose to love where I am WHOLE HEARTEDLY. I didn't say "like it", I said "love it"... as in accept, as in learning more compassion, faith and patience so that I can enjoy the morning dawn that will surely follow this dark night of man made hell.
My body cannot easily tell the difference between a door banging shut from a sudden gust of wind, and the boom of a crashing katyusha missile. The wail of the siren is like nails on a chalkboard to my stomach.
Even so, I am convinced that the darkest hour comes just before the dawn. It's a law of nature. Today, in our deserted village, I roamed the country roads, and picked ripe figs off of the trees. This year because most people have fled to the south for safety, the fruit laden trees hold half pecked figs, eaten by the birds.
The plump ripe figs that I suceeded to pick seemed to cry out to me - "Thank you".
Mother nature whispered in my ear, "I give you all you need to live an abundant and delicious life. If only you humans would stop long enough to remember who it is that provides your every need. If you insist on destroying yourselves and one another, that is your choice of free will. I will silently wait until you are ready to see me and taste the fruit of another way".
Today I remembered the wise advice an acquaintance had given me when I had been laid off of my job in Los Angeles some twenty years ago. She said; "With the time you have left there, love it with all your heart. Be there with all your heart, so that when you leave, you will never have to go back to that situation again."
Thank God I put her advice into practice, for I have never had to go back to "the rat race" again. I realized this morning that I can put this same advice to practice in the war. YES.
I choose to love where I am WHOLE HEARTEDLY. I didn't say "like it", I said "love it"... as in accept, as in learning more compassion, faith and patience so that I can enjoy the morning dawn that will surely follow this dark night of man made hell.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Music Therapy in a Supermarket Bomb Shelter
For the last several hours, I have wanted to post to this blog, and for one reason or another, with all that is going on, I couldn't get to it. "Later", I reasoned.
After weeks of not leaving my house and village, this morning I ventured out to the post office in the neighboring Arab village. Afterwards, I drove quickly to Carmiel (where a few hundred bombs have hit during the war) to by groceries at the one remaining open supermarket (my two week stockpile ran out). In the middle of shopping, sirens wailed, warning of imminent bombing. Crash, boom, the bombs started to drop, very close to us. The mix of Hebrew, Arabic, and Russian speaking shoppers and clerks ran into the bomb shelter and stairwell for cover. The manager who burst into tears, was in shock. She worked next to the open door as the bomb exploded.
Tears filled my eyes as I held her tight.
I watched in silence, observing the human drama unfold. Commotion all about amongst a sea of nervously chattering waves in Hebrew, Arabic and Russian. The bombs do not differentiate between religion, creed, class or color. Everyone is getting hit here in the Galilee.
I noticed that those who wanted to be quiet, gravitated towards the stairwell where I was sitting quietly on the steps. At one point, I began to sing - softly. The acoustics of the stairwell was great. One woman turned around and remarked, "Yes! That is what we really need now", she smiled at me.
Funny, just then I remembered this blog, grateful for the opportunity to share a moving moment with others.
I have been asked to share how I work with patients. My practice is of a unique kind, not requiring a traditional "therapist-patient" role. This morning for example, in the supermarket, my role was that of therapist and patient. This morning's example taught me, that sometimes, the most important way we can help others is through our silence. I felt most helpful when I sat there silently observing with compassion for all of us.
I spoke to people as well. Afterwards, I felt that maybe it was too much. My silent compassion was the most powerful gift I could give.
http://www.peace-in-war.com is a new website just opened. On it, you will find "Quiet in the Eye of the Storm: Living Peace in a War Zone" a downloadable book with stories from daily life here, along with simple and practical exercises you may use yourself (and with clients) for staying calm even in the worst of circumstances.
Thank you for your comments. I have wanted to reply, but haven't yet figured out how to on this blog. Please keep them coming.
After weeks of not leaving my house and village, this morning I ventured out to the post office in the neighboring Arab village. Afterwards, I drove quickly to Carmiel (where a few hundred bombs have hit during the war) to by groceries at the one remaining open supermarket (my two week stockpile ran out). In the middle of shopping, sirens wailed, warning of imminent bombing. Crash, boom, the bombs started to drop, very close to us. The mix of Hebrew, Arabic, and Russian speaking shoppers and clerks ran into the bomb shelter and stairwell for cover. The manager who burst into tears, was in shock. She worked next to the open door as the bomb exploded.
Tears filled my eyes as I held her tight.
I watched in silence, observing the human drama unfold. Commotion all about amongst a sea of nervously chattering waves in Hebrew, Arabic and Russian. The bombs do not differentiate between religion, creed, class or color. Everyone is getting hit here in the Galilee.
I noticed that those who wanted to be quiet, gravitated towards the stairwell where I was sitting quietly on the steps. At one point, I began to sing - softly. The acoustics of the stairwell was great. One woman turned around and remarked, "Yes! That is what we really need now", she smiled at me.
Funny, just then I remembered this blog, grateful for the opportunity to share a moving moment with others.
I have been asked to share how I work with patients. My practice is of a unique kind, not requiring a traditional "therapist-patient" role. This morning for example, in the supermarket, my role was that of therapist and patient. This morning's example taught me, that sometimes, the most important way we can help others is through our silence. I felt most helpful when I sat there silently observing with compassion for all of us.
I spoke to people as well. Afterwards, I felt that maybe it was too much. My silent compassion was the most powerful gift I could give.
http://www.peace-in-war.com is a new website just opened. On it, you will find "Quiet in the Eye of the Storm: Living Peace in a War Zone" a downloadable book with stories from daily life here, along with simple and practical exercises you may use yourself (and with clients) for staying calm even in the worst of circumstances.
Thank you for your comments. I have wanted to reply, but haven't yet figured out how to on this blog. Please keep them coming.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
August 9 in Northern Israel - Daily News
Yesterday I ventured out for the first time in two weeks - to the Carmel Mountains. Why did I risk going? Because there was a special conference given free to small business people from the North, to help us prepare for the day after the war... It was a day to help us plan for rebuilding our business, so that we can earn our living, and keep the economy alive. 91% of the work force in Israel is made up of small businesses.
The government unfortunately does not have small business as a priority, so the fact that this event occured, originated by private business, was a true blessing.
It was also heartening to meet up with other people in similar situations, and to receive support and brainstorm.
I am going to follow through on an idea that I have been thinking about for a few months now. Yesterday, the positive feedback I received upon it, makes me intend to go for it.
The siren is ringing again, gotta go for cover... Will write again later...
Kisses.
The government unfortunately does not have small business as a priority, so the fact that this event occured, originated by private business, was a true blessing.
It was also heartening to meet up with other people in similar situations, and to receive support and brainstorm.
I am going to follow through on an idea that I have been thinking about for a few months now. Yesterday, the positive feedback I received upon it, makes me intend to go for it.
The siren is ringing again, gotta go for cover... Will write again later...
Kisses.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Susan Jeffers endorses Quiet in the Eye of the Storm
"A beautiful and intimate voice of reason providing healing tools to apply in all the conflicts life hands us." Susan Jeffers, PhD, bestselling author, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" and "Life is Huge!"
Actually the entire endorsement she wrote is:
"Eliana Gilad's words are as inspiring as her music. Her book Quiet in the Eye of the Storm: Living Peace in a War Zone is a beautiful and intimate voice of reason providing healing tools to apply in all the conflicts life hands us."
Isn't that beautiful!? I am so grateful.
Please visit my new site and tell me what you think:
Open House in the Israel-Lebanon War August 4
Last night, I held open house (which occurs regularly on the first Friday of every month), dedicated to the Source of all Good. I had NO idea if anyone would show up. Yesterday was a hard day too. Sirens blasted in the morning and afternoon. I myself, felt raw and vulnerable.
Yet I felt it essential to keep my promise to God to keep the focus on GOOD. It's easy when things are as usual. The real test is when everything falls apart.
I thought to myself, if only I show up, that will be enough. I am enough. It was a big moment.
In the end, there were 12 people here, including a small girl of 7 years old. She hadn't slept the previous night for fear of the bombs. Her mom brought her to give her confidence.
At first we sit under the ancient carob tree in silence, contemplating upon the Source of All. Each person in his/her own personal way. I introduce the silence by singing a wordless melody composed on the spot, along with my frame drum.
Afterwards, we eat dinner together. Everyone brings something to share with the group. The food was scrumptious!
By the end of the evening, the little girl was performing magic tricks for us. It was inspiring.
Yet I felt it essential to keep my promise to God to keep the focus on GOOD. It's easy when things are as usual. The real test is when everything falls apart.
I thought to myself, if only I show up, that will be enough. I am enough. It was a big moment.
In the end, there were 12 people here, including a small girl of 7 years old. She hadn't slept the previous night for fear of the bombs. Her mom brought her to give her confidence.
At first we sit under the ancient carob tree in silence, contemplating upon the Source of All. Each person in his/her own personal way. I introduce the silence by singing a wordless melody composed on the spot, along with my frame drum.
Afterwards, we eat dinner together. Everyone brings something to share with the group. The food was scrumptious!
By the end of the evening, the little girl was performing magic tricks for us. It was inspiring.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Peace-in-War.com
That's the name of my new website announcing the release of my new downloadable book:
Quiet in the Eye of the Storm: Living Peace in a War Zone.
Please visit and tell your friends.
Quiet in the Eye of the Storm: Living Peace in a War Zone.
Please visit and tell your friends.
Tonight is open house. First Friday of every month, this center is open to the public to come and enjoy the source of GOOD in silence. Afterwards we share dinner together. Everyone brings something to share.
We will meet this evening. It is more important than ever.
I feel so vulnerable. The door slams in response to a gust of wind. I jump.
In response to the fear, I turn it over to the Divine.
No way, will I shut my heart now. Yes, I feel so fragile.
And in my fragility, I find my true power.
NO. I will not bow to my fear.
NO. I am not endangering myself.
NO. I will not feed into, nor react to your fears... if only to comfort them.
YES. I am discovering my true safety.
My safety lies in the Divine to whom I surrender.
"Not real", you may silently snicker to yourself.
Well, it won't be until we honestly quiet ourselves enough to allow
the still small voice to guide us.
I am standing up to be counted. Please join me in the Land of the United Hearts of the Divine.
We will meet this evening. It is more important than ever.
I feel so vulnerable. The door slams in response to a gust of wind. I jump.
In response to the fear, I turn it over to the Divine.
No way, will I shut my heart now. Yes, I feel so fragile.
And in my fragility, I find my true power.
NO. I will not bow to my fear.
NO. I am not endangering myself.
NO. I will not feed into, nor react to your fears... if only to comfort them.
YES. I am discovering my true safety.
My safety lies in the Divine to whom I surrender.
"Not real", you may silently snicker to yourself.
Well, it won't be until we honestly quiet ourselves enough to allow
the still small voice to guide us.
I am standing up to be counted. Please join me in the Land of the United Hearts of the Divine.
Late Breaking News: August 4 - Israel-Lebanon War
Since waking up this morning, there have been two air raid sirens, calling us to find immediate safe shelter.
The first one came just as I was in the middle of my morning meditation.
I quickly gathered my two cats and brought them inside, which wasn't so easy. They were bewildered and kept jumping from my arms. The hardest part about that minute, was not knowing if and when a bomb would drop and wipe me out. It is a terrifying feeling.
I got the cats inside and immediately went to sit in the hallway. I burst out into tears... not just tears, sobbing. This hallway is turning into my new altar, where locked between the two bathroom stalls, I intimately turn to God.
"Please forgive us our ignorance. Please forgive Nasrallah for sending the bombs into Israel destroying innocent lives and homes. Please forgive the Israeli army for destroying innocent lives and homes. Please forgive all of our hatred and fear, for we know not any better. Forgive me of my ignorance and hatred, beginning with my own self hatred. Teach me to only love.
I did not ask to be born God. You brought me here. I turn everything over to you: my life, my work, my music, my path, EVERYTHING!!!! on the one condition, that you guide me in the Higher Good. This you must give to me as your daughter.
Let ME be the first to set down my weapons of war. Let ME be the first to live a shining example of the Highest Good. I am literally sick of pretending otherwise.
Please let me sound YOUR voice only!"
This is my prayer as it comes from gut and heart through my fingers onto this page.
AMEN.
The first one came just as I was in the middle of my morning meditation.
I quickly gathered my two cats and brought them inside, which wasn't so easy. They were bewildered and kept jumping from my arms. The hardest part about that minute, was not knowing if and when a bomb would drop and wipe me out. It is a terrifying feeling.
I got the cats inside and immediately went to sit in the hallway. I burst out into tears... not just tears, sobbing. This hallway is turning into my new altar, where locked between the two bathroom stalls, I intimately turn to God.
"Please forgive us our ignorance. Please forgive Nasrallah for sending the bombs into Israel destroying innocent lives and homes. Please forgive the Israeli army for destroying innocent lives and homes. Please forgive all of our hatred and fear, for we know not any better. Forgive me of my ignorance and hatred, beginning with my own self hatred. Teach me to only love.
I did not ask to be born God. You brought me here. I turn everything over to you: my life, my work, my music, my path, EVERYTHING!!!! on the one condition, that you guide me in the Higher Good. This you must give to me as your daughter.
Let ME be the first to set down my weapons of war. Let ME be the first to live a shining example of the Highest Good. I am literally sick of pretending otherwise.
Please let me sound YOUR voice only!"
This is my prayer as it comes from gut and heart through my fingers onto this page.
AMEN.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Ten laps to one sprint
Living in the north of Israel in the middle of the war, almost three weeks later, it's getting old.
I am so proud of myself for using the time to write of my experiences to share with you, as I am convinced that if just one person will be inspired to feel at ease in the middle of their own private war, then all my efforts will have been worth it.
Yesterday I was up until 5 this morning - 19 hours straight in front of the computer, to get the book finished by the deadline I had set.
Today I am burnt out and resting. Once I finish writing the post, I will turn off the computer.
I feel like I am in a long hurdle in the Olympics of life. Ten slow laps for every one fast sprint. Thank God I am listening enough to my body to stop and slow down.
I wish you all a wonderful day. Maybe we can take a break together.... relax a little.
I am so proud of myself for using the time to write of my experiences to share with you, as I am convinced that if just one person will be inspired to feel at ease in the middle of their own private war, then all my efforts will have been worth it.
Yesterday I was up until 5 this morning - 19 hours straight in front of the computer, to get the book finished by the deadline I had set.
Today I am burnt out and resting. Once I finish writing the post, I will turn off the computer.
I feel like I am in a long hurdle in the Olympics of life. Ten slow laps for every one fast sprint. Thank God I am listening enough to my body to stop and slow down.
I wish you all a wonderful day. Maybe we can take a break together.... relax a little.
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