How to break the fear of being direct without going in circles...

A colleague provided me with some constructive criticism yesterday. He said I need to be more direct and to the point. Speak in short sentences…Period.

His feedback came as no surprise, since I am meeting myself more honestly lately, especially those scary parts which lay hidden from my conscious acceptance.

During my writing session this morning, I decided to explore the issue of direct, honest communication. I’d ask an open question to my higher self, listen for the answer and write it down.


Direct honest communication is a basic element to being assertive…

Yet avalanches of butterflies flutter their wings in my stomach. I had no idea that being direct could bring up such stage fright…What is so scary about being direct? As one of my clients put it…

“Being whipped…being burned on the cross for speaking my truth when the consensus insisted upon the “truth” of the opposite direction. If they cannot see my truth, they will laugh at me. They’ll say I am lying. I’ll be humiliated in public.”

How can you assert your truth when you can’t see it? Or prove it physically? Can you relate? Here I am writing about the subject and feel like I’m running in circles. I can certainly relate. What’s going on?

Fear of receiving.

It’s scary to stop and do nothing. Especially if like me, you’re addicted to “doing”.


What’s so scary about receiving?

Maybe nothing will happen. I’ll be exposed and vulnerable to attack. Not knowing can be really scary. My thoughts scare me the most. Don’t want to really meet them.

What are the scariest ones?

The critical voices hurt the most: “You are stupid. Who do you think you are to own who you are. I am lord over you.” It reminds me of a stern father figure, forcing me to obey.

It’s also scary to meet anger. It feels like there is no place to safely express it. If I express it to that father figure, I will just get knocked down. Of course, I don’t want to knock myself down.

It’s easier to just keep power to myself. This way I can preserve my power. On the other hand, it doesn’t go anywhere. This is a sure ticket to depression. It feels greedy. There must be another way. What is that way?

Be willing to be different. Do it differently.

When we are focused upon the result we have no enjoyment of the process. The process is where all the fun lies. When you are so focused upon the results, it can also feel really lonely. That’s no fun. So how can we break the debilitating reactions to our fear?

1) Accept that it is there. Owning it seems to minimize its power.

2) Take responsibility. While it can feel embarrassing to own responsibility for creating your reality, is also empowering. You can then choose differently or change your mind.

3) Don’t say or do anything. You might wonder, “Isn’t that just the opposite of what you were writing about? I mean, I thought you said that you need to be direct?” What I mean is that if something is not clear… sometimes it’s better not to do anything. Something deeper may be lurking underneath the surface. If you give this time and space, it can come to the surface to provide you with more wisdom.

4) Meet the fear of death. For example, if you hold off doing something and it brings up fear, allow yourself to meet it.

The Hebrew word for fear is: PACHAD.

פחד

If you turn around the Hebrew root of the word fear, you get: DACHAF

דחף

This is the root for the word propeller or push, as in signifying the movement forward of something. When we can meet our fear with compassion, it can melt.

Be willing to die to the fear, and there you will find your eternal peace, which lies just beyond the fear of death.

Direct, and to the point.

Easy to write about, but the proof is in the pudding. Don’t believe what I write. It’s not worth anything. Try it for yourself and see what happens.

What is the scariest thing for you to be direct and to the point?

Buddist Sound Healing

Buddist sound healing is very closely linked to Ancient healing and transformational music. The elements are connected from the ancient traditions of the east.

Here's a very interesting article about Buddist Sound Healing Research

From Self Destruction to Self Acceptance

Last week I wrote about my experimentation with bells - and how the friction created between the receptive casing and clanging of the clapper are catalysts for harmonious creation.

This week, I was delighted to receive an invitation from the founder of Israel's marine archaeology to provide my ancient healing and transformational music for the 25 year anniversary of the Ancient Galilee boat discovery at the shores of Galilee. But the museum has no budget. So I said no. It's painful. I was so happy that the archaeologist "got" the connection between the music and the percussion instruments found along with the boat.

This music would provide a sublimely powerful experience for that event. So convinced, I requested funding from the tourist board yesterday. It's too short notice. They said no. And honestly, harmony requires a two way flow.

It would be self destructive to putting my own needs in secondary place to the "larger good" of bringing back this ancient healing music form. Been there. Done that.

What is so scary about being bold, saying yes to ourselves, especially when it requires us saying no to the things we love?

Well, for one, we don't know what the outcome will be. It brings up self doubt. Maybe we made mistake? It's uncomfortable and can feel lonely living in that "not knowing" space.

Last night, I watched the film Agora. A friend lent it to me several months ago. Set in ancient Egypt under Roman rule, the brilliant and beautiful astronomer Hypatia leads a group of disciples fighting to save the wisdom of the Ancient World, as violent religious upheaval spills into the streets of Alexandria. I resisted watching it, knowing that there would be difficult scenes to observe. Last night, I felt compelled to watch, sensing that the film would support me.

Hypatia courageously stands for her freedom, walking the walk, even in the face of extreme challenge. In the end she gets stoned to death. Nothing and no one can stop it.

The film stirred up a visceral yet ancient terror of being ostracized and burnt on the cross for daring to live my deep inner truth in public, even if it is not understood by others and not following popular culture and consensus.

As disturbing as it ended, it helped to watch the film - to identify the root of inner fear and doubts which have created what seems like lifetimes of self recrimination. In the face of this scary place, I am shaking the bell on my wrist bracelet. This helps me to shift my consciousness by providing a nurturing response to scary inner voices by remembering that harmony is created through friction.

Can you relate? If so, how?

Here's a soothing mini music spa minute to quiet whatever voice may be creating friction in your inner world. Enjoy, and then share what you experienced, below or on the facebook page

Harmonious way to free unwanted habits. Ring a bell?

Yesterday there was a lunar eclipse… in Gemini. I am not one who usually responds to astrological events, though yesterday, somehow I felt pulled by the force of the moon. Something about soft luminescent light, lighting up darkness spoke to me. I was informed that this particular eclipse allows an opportunity for us to release subconscious habits.

It happened to be the seventeen year anniversary of my moving to Israel and I’d been invited to give an ancient healing and transformational music program to a Kabbalist meditation group. In celebration, I decided to focus upon connecting to the Divine feminine spirit represented by the moon energy. I asked the participants to choose something in their subconscious over which they feel a lack of control, a habit they would like to be freed of.

I would compose music, focusing upon the moon, singing wordlessly to help us access a deeper state of consciousness.

Bells came immediately to mind. In biblical times, the Levites would sew bells onto the fringes of their robes and one would hear them as they walked in procession towards the holy temple. In the temples of the even earlier ancient world, priestesses would use bells and shakers to evoke a deep state of conscious awareness. The round shape of the bell casing, juxtaposed with the clang of the clapper or round pellet inside, creates a balance of masculine and feminine energies.

Something deep inside of me stirred. I noticed a water element stirring as the small metal balls rolled slowly within their round casings. My body slithered and swayed. I felt like a temple priestess in the middle of a sacred ceremony. I allowed the inner movement to guide my outer performance. It was mesmerizing. All the people had their eyes closed in meditation. This freed me to feel more at ease to connect to that feminine place, deep within the womb and allow it to express itself through the music being played on the bells.

The shaking of the bell allows for the vibratory rate of your consciousness to be shifted. Music is activated by the silent flow, whose sound gets generated from the receptivity of the outside form of the bell, meeting with the friction caused by the clapper.

The result is harmony. How does this relate to transformation?

Harmony is actually created by friction. Without the friction, there can be no sound. Friction is the power which provides the necessary combustion for great movement forward. Imagine the amount of power of a rocket ship – the amount of fire and heat required to provide the combustion allowing for the rocket to be propelled into space. When we avoid it – we hold ourselves back and stay stuck.

The fire and the friction are feminine forces of nature. They are not to be feared. They are to be harnessed. When we acknowledge their existence and allow for their power, we allow for them to transform self destructiveness into self actualization.

In that in between space, within that space which you cannot see, you can create miracles. All it requires is a willingness to connect to the space and meet it without wanting to affect a result. The result will come of its own accord without your having to do a thing.

Healing and transformational music helps quiet the mind so that you can stay there longer. Let’s conduct an experiment… Choose a habit that you want to free yourself of. Listen to this piece of bell music, from the healing music - meditation program Sepphoris recorded in an ancient water well which will allow you to connect to that deeper level of awareness. Imagine yourself free.

What did you experience? Leave a note and let us know? Leave a message below or on Miriam's Secret facebook page...

How do you express that which is unexpressable?

Milky white, nurturance, nourishment, mother's milk...Safety, serenity. This is the essence of the holiday Shavuot. Actually, this is the feminine divine power, behind the ten commandments, for which this Hebrew holiday commemorates.

Without feminine energy, the ten commandments can seem severe and punative. With the unseen power behind them, they can provide us with a sense of personal power.

How do you express that which is unexpressable (is that a word :-)... The essence of feminine power is BEHIND that which is seen, it is beyond cognitive understanding. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Watch these lovely girls dancing during a traditional celebration:


Their innocence can remind us of our true power. Power that lies behind activity. Power which lies in the creative womb of the universe.

Where do you find yourself trying to express that which is unexpressable within you? Where does it appear in your life? In what situations?

Reclaiming the baby from the bathwater...

In the name of progress, we humans seem to have a habit, of shutting off the past when we are moving forward towards a new direction. It's like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. In doing so, we are able to focus exclusively upon the direction we have chosen to follow. Yet we also pay the price of shutting off other precious parts of our humanity.

Last Saturday I lead an ancient healing and transformational music workshop at the ancient site of Tel Dor, an ancient Phoenician port where the ancient priestesses wove their vocal sounds and rhythms for physical, spiritual and mental health.
We received the gift of a stupendous tour from the renowned archeologist Kurt Raveh, a man who founded the entire marine archaeology of Israel.

Amongst his finds are percussion instruments and thousands of female statuettes. I am so happy that he agreed to help me locate the finds in the archaeology warehouse. He did show us a 2700 year old bell. I almost fainted when he showed us, as it was the exact same shape as the bells I had brought to the site, for us to use in one of our musical exercises.

Here is a video clip from the day, thanks to the generous photos of Dorit Kaplansky. Talk about recovering the baby with the bathwater, the song which accompanies the clip is called "Water". Those of you who know me, know that Voices of Eden music model is wordless. This song with lyrics, I wrote back in 1997. It reached a final round in a British song writing contest, which brought me to London.

Thanks to Bob Miller, a music professional who approached me after one of my concerts there, I got up the courage to speak to him of my dream of reviving the ancient use of singing and rhythm for healing purposes. His support gave me the courage to dare approach the neonatal ward of my local hospital to suggest testing this music approach. The rest is history.

There's no drum in this music. Just voice and guitar with lyrics in Hebrew and English.


Where have you thrown the baby out with the bathwater? Where might you reclaim it? What benefit would it serve? Leave a note below! Then come for a visit on facebook.