The New Year (the Hebrew year goes by the lunar calendar) has officially begun, and I have just returned from a restful vacation with my family in Los Angeles to celebrate the Jewish Holidays.
Having the time to rest and visit with my family, evidently provided the universe with opportunity to shower me with ample blessings. Amongst them was visiting the Agape International Spiritual Center where 20 years ago I'd receive weekly doses of inspiration from Michael Beckwith (on right) which provided me with the eventual courage to leave my native Los Angeles behind for France (then to Israel). One of the healing spirituals I sang accapella to keep me inspired on my journey, to where, I was not sure, was "I Release and I Let Go", written by Rickie Byars Beckwith.
At the onset, this trip too, felt like a journey to the entire unknown.
Have you had that experience of anticipating an event, yet not even knowing what to anticipate? How do you respond? Do you go with the flow? Or do you try to control the river's current to stay safe?
Here's what I learned through writing on the flight from Tel Aviv - Rome - Los Angeles....
"I am God's pencil... write me... please write my story...",
I wrote, "After suceeding to sleep for three hours on the way from Tel Aviv to Rome, I awoke pretty refreshed. The weather is calm and cool and after having passed through the in-transit route last month on my way to present at the Music and Medicine Conference in NY, I already knew the ropes for easily getting through the airport security transit stations.
Upon arrival a voice spoke to me from within that eased the angst and exhaustion I have been grappling with over the last few months. The voice whispered: 'Isn't it true that you just slept on an airplane for three hours and without 'knowing how' to fly, you arrived safely to Rome? Who was flying? Who was guiding the plane? Did you trust the pilot to bring you here?'
'Yes', was my reply.
'So don't you think you could trust that power which benevolently brought you here to guide other aspects of you life?'
As I write these words, I am sitting onthe airplane, placing this trust into practice - surrending to the Divine to allow the two seats next to me to remain empty so that I can sleep on the way to LA. It's another thirteen hour flight.
TRUST.... I reminded myself.
When I had entered the duty free area passing through the transit stations, I saw the paper store where I remembered the altered state I experienced there on my way to New York last month. I had been spelled bound by the beauty of the traditionally hand crafted paper. There was a guest book where people could sign their names and check out the amazing quill pens that they sell as well.
I wrote my name and a note in Hebrew - a prayer that my voice would be heard loud and clear at the medical conference in NY and that my meeting with my brother would be joy filled. This morning, as I flipped through the pages of the guest book, I wondered if my note was still there. 'No, it was a month ago. Surely they have filled and replaced the guestbook many times over', the voice of doubt suggested. As I flipped through the pages looking for my Hebrew prayer, I came upon another note on the upper right hand corner of one of the middle pages:
'The Divine is Protecting You', it read.
Wow, my heart melted. I kept flipping through the pages and lo and behold, towards the back was the note I had written a month before on my way to NYC.
'I'm receiving support from my own guidance," I was amazed. I wanted to tape my thoughts and was sorry I had left my recorded at home in Israel. On the other hand, it prompted me to purchase the journal upon write I write and the pencil which glides across the page like silk. I'm remembering my love of writing, my love of journaling which kept me company as a child.
The seats got filled with two girls from Spain :-(....
'TRUST', I reminded myself once again. 'All is for the best.' Even though the special food I requested was not prepared for my meal, the steward was kind enough to organize an alternative through First Class. Nice!
TRUST. I want to practice allowing... Remember, the pilot is flying this ship. As I trust, the pilot to safely bring me to Los Angeles, I can surely trust the Big Pilot in the Sky to bring me to my inner home of calm.
TRUST in the unknown. I call this experience "the Black Swan"... not knowing what I don't even know that I don't know, and trusting that it will all be ok.
No Matter What.
We have the freedom to choose to live our lives as we dream. I was just reading an article (in Hebrew) that I brought from home about the coach Lisa Nichols and how she listens to her small still voice to guide her through the unknown.
As I was reading, my Spanish neighbor asked me what language I was reading. I replied: Hebrew. 'Funny', I continued, as I'm reading about someone from my native Los Angeles in the tongue of my home today'.
She asked me about life in Israel. 'Isn't it scary and dangerous?'
'Actually my life is safe - quite different from what you see in the media. I moved to Israel to be part of a solution through the example of my life.'
If through the example of my life, then I'd better get clearer about this trusting issue: No Matter What!. Either I forgot that I truly have the right to love my life as I dream or I never fully "got" it. My experience today comes as a revelation from the heavens, where, right now... I literally sit - up in the sky on this plane. "
How do you trust... No Matter What? I'd like to know!