Sunday, July 11, 2010

Making peace with your inner conflicts

Are you interested in changing some of the things that you find yourself saying to yourself over and over again that don't exactly serve your highest good? I just found an article which I wrote a few years ago, and find that it still applies today...

Perhaps you've already made a commitment to make peace with yourself by choosing to change one of those self defeating phrases that keeps you a silent prisoner of your inner war. When it is most important for you to express what is in your heart you need to come forth as a knight in shining armor for yourself.

So you write out what you plan to say. You call a friend to discuss your fears so they won't get in the way when you need to speak what is in your heart in real time. You practice your speech in front of the mirror to experience the level of confidence you need to shine in the moment when it counts most to you.

In the moment of truth, all hell breaks loose

The moment arrives. You're ready. It feels so good to have prepared beforehand. Yet when you open your mouth, instead of expressing what is in your heart, you find yourself saying other things you never meant to say.

The listener had this funny look on their face. "What will they think of me?", you wonder to yourself. They seem stressed and uptight. You didn't want to stir them up anymore than they already are so you speak about what you think will please them instead of what you had originally planned.

You can speak your heart another time, anyway. You're a kind person and care. Hmm… Really?

How kind towards yourself? Afterwards your inner voice silently criticizes you, "Why didn't you speak from your heart? Why can't you follow through like (whoever you compare yourself to most), "You'd have done better if only..., Now it's a fact, you are not as good as (whoever you compare yourself to most), It's too late, you failed again."
Not the most harmonious tune.

As Wayne Dyer writes in his book, Real Magic, our personality is made up of the hundreds of habitual ways that we conduct the daily physical affairs of our life.

Your habits reveal you.

Your habits say something about how you have chosen to live your life and to how you use your powerful mind. They pattern the way you speak to yourself and how you behave.

The problem is that even when you make a decision to change a habit, you may find that your inner warriors come to do battle with your intentions to make positive change within yourself.

How can you stay focused when your resistance sends arrows to your gut instead of lovingly defending your heart's desire?

Deconstruct to Reconstruct

When the foundation upon which you built your way of expressing yourself no longer works, it many times means that it's time for a renovation. Renovation requires deconstruction. Deconstruction is dirty work. It's not comfortable and it can bring up a lot of stress.

One of my clients, a singer with several years of classic vocal training behind her came to me longing to release and express her natural voice. She only felt safe singing and speaking formally, in the way she had been trained.

When she dared speak or sing her heart, she would tear herself apart afterwards with harsh inner criticism that it wasn't pretty or good enough.
When we began the course to ease

Test the limits. I could fail. I will fall. I will embarrass myself, or worse, I will embarrass others, and this will embarrass me even more.

Better to just hold back. Only there is no more time. I committed to write this newsletter. It's been more than a week and a half since I wrote. It's a really tender time for me.
With the magical powers of your persuasion, you can choose to challenge even the stickiest thorns of your life.

One of my clients, a busy medical doctor, when I first met him, was so stressed that even without saying a word, the tension from his persona, shouted like an announcer over the loud speakers, "ee gads, I am going nuts". The fact that his wife had just given birth to a premature baby in intensive care was not helping matters any more.

I'm a medical doctor, so vocal meditation isn't exactly what you would call my "cup of tea". But, I gotta admit it, this CD relaxes me and my family, including my newborn premature son in a way that other CDs haven't done before. Lord knows we've tried.

So how do you respond when the &*%^ hits the fan?

This week I have met with lots of challenge. I gave my best. I was hoping for a better deal. Hoping that what I had to contribute would be recognized.I was hoping for more connection with the other teachers. I was looking forward to team work. All I got was a lot of competition. I am feeling hurt that my givingness was not recognized.I am feeling unseen and unheard and this is the most painful thing for me.Misunderstood or ignored. That is what has hurt the most in my life. The invisible force of nature and energy

Is it easier to go along with the war than to stand up alone, like a lone soldier who can be knocked down with a single shot?

Not all war happens with bombs and guns.

There are war zones in everyday life. In order to make the healing and transformational power of music practical tools for daily life, I'm looking for a few readers to interview (by phone or Skype).

I'll be asking about where they most long for peace. What's in the way? What makes it hard to practice peace-making exercises?

If you're interested, please email me.

In the meantime, please enjoy this short 30 second peace making music meditation I recorded this afternoon, focusing upon making peace with inner war, allowing for the authentic colors of my voice to be heard.

I hope that you will allow yours to be heard as well. Look forward to hearing from you shortly.

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