Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Depletion to Replenishment

This coming Saturday night, I will be composing live music  for an Ancient Healing and Transformational music event - just down the road from Mary's well at the Fauzi Azar Inn, a beautiful old mansion in the old city of Nazareth.

The Fauzi Azar Inn is a multi-faith initiative - Jewish and Arab and it brings travellers from all around the world to experience good in the Holy Land.

This will be the first time that I am going to be composing a full program of live music on the spot for the people who will be attending.

The group will be a mixture of Jews, Arabs, foreigners visiting Israel and whomever else will show up that day. It is a live exercise in showing up in the moment, opening my heart and allowing it to sing. I am not planning beforehand. My heart says, "go for it".


Drinking or sinking by the Well?


A big part of me is excited to just show up. It's like getting back on the train. Another part is afraid of flubbing up. My ego warns "you're gonna die of embarrassment". What if they don't get it? What if they aren't open? What if I don't know what to say?

What I really want to do is show up and allow the moment to guide me, without planning. It takes alot of guts to do that. It requires dealing with the fear of failure, and it's powerful sibling, fear of being mocked and made fun of.  I choose to do this because I believe that when I show up authentically in the moment, it supports other people in showing up in the moment as well. While scary and uncontrollable, it's also extremely exhilarating.  I love living life this way.

Our biggest fears can also be our greatest source of inspiration and power. 

In Hebrew, if you turn around the root letters of the word for "fear", you get "inspiration" or "movement forward".  That is exactly how I am meeting my sense of vulnerability.  I

The whole point of healing and transformational music is to allow the listener the experience of  meeting themselves authentically in the moment. If we will just stop for a moment and listen to ourselves, we can ask ourselves any question, and receive the answer. I am praying to have the ability to clearly address this with the audience - particularly having no idea who they are nor what language they speak.

Singing from the heart can replenish your well of energy.


Last week, I went to visit the Fauzi Azar Inn in preparation from the program and sat by the well and composed a short, impromptu piece of music. I didn't know anyone else was listening or watching. No one else was around, except for the man who kindly agreed to hold the camera.

When I finished, I heard applaud resounding from above. Evidently a group of German visitors stood on the balcony above listening to my heartfelt, impromptu song. You can watch it here.

Where do you find your well of courage, or well of inspiration when you are afraid to show up for yourself? What helps you most in those moments? I'd love to hear from you.











No comments: