Beautifully Messy Transitions: Adventure Packed White Knuckle Ride

   I wrote an entry entitled "How to Evolve the Old Into the New", where I wrote about a clay sculpture which I fashioned on a Sinai desert retreat some ten years ago.  It became a symbol of creativity, authenticity and my dream of reviving the ancient tradition of healing and transformational music. My cat smashed it, and I felt moved to revive the statuette by adding Israeli clay to her Egyptian soil foundation.

We tend to throw the old out, opting in for  "let's get a new one" mentality.  I decided  to keep her, to see what evolvement might come from merging the two soils. Perhaps a symbol of creating something totally new from the merging of ancient and modern energies.

Repairing this  goddess is symbolizing the messy part of change - that unknown part of  being in transition -

where the old doesn't work anymore, but you have no idea what the new will be, and there is no guarantee that it will be better than what was.

The fear often warns that things will grow worse.

I was warned that when you mix 2 foreign things (in this case 2 types of clay) together they could explode in the firing oven.  For the last two weeks, I have returned to my pottery class anxious to learn of her fate? Exploded bomb or bomb shell of a gorgeous model? Positive thinking had me hoping for the best.

Good news is: she didn't explode.

Bad news: her shiny lacquer coating was all cracked.

The gold beads cradled in her bosom - fell out. Empty nipple shells in lack of juicy milk. I had coated her with a lovely light fleshy shade. The color came out ashen white, like Miriam just before she was sent off to the leper colony.    just cracked. there are stages of transition, slow is fast, less is more

I am choosing to trust this process. Instead of throwing her away, I am staying open and curious as to what the next phase will offer.

I  liked and preferred - how she looked before. I secretly felt disappointed when I received her back. She was all cracked and not at all the inspired beauty I looked forward to encounter.

My spiritually correct response, would not allow me to show it though. On the other hand, the ashen white cracks give her an ancient look, although unintentional.

The goddess went through change, yet I'm looking for what she was like before.

That's fruitless.

It is much more fruitful to learn to love  for how she is now (in that cracked, ugly stage).

I can't look for her how she was - she's undergone change, transition.

What she was not longer exists.

As I love what there is, it will open the door for loving what comes. Then the white knuckle ride of transition, becomes a wild adventure and  I love the ride.  Excited to see what will evolve, knowing that as I go with the flow of the sudden turns and twists of fate, I will learn to enjoy even more.

How can the Goddess' white knuckle transition support you in yours?

What does it remind you of?

How do you evolve the old into the new?

In May 2010 I wrote a blog post responding to Anita Diamant's query as to "What is on your desktop altar?"


I describe the items on the altar, all of which center around the central piece:  


"Clay statuette of Miriam that I made some seven years (now ten) ago on a glorious vacation in the Sinai desert. This statuette, fashioned from simple clay mud found in Sinai, which I sealed with simple glue (now peeling), has chaperoned me through countless ancient healing music tours overseas. It's my number one touchstone."

I met Ute, a vivacious fifty-something German woman that summer in the Sinai. We shared dinner, snacks and a sun umbrella to shade us from the scorching sun.


Ute dreamed of coming to the Sea of Galilee in Israel.  But her mind resisted as did her family and friends. Secret fear and shameful memories of the Holocaust kept her away. 


My personal invitation broke through her resistance and got her to come to my Galilee healing music center for ten days. It was a glorious visit. She returned a few years later, and last month, Georg, her husband joined her on a third visit. 

The Miriam statue chaperoned both our travels...


Overseas to the US, Europe and even China! It's as if an ancient talisman was guiding from the old into the new.


A few weeks ago, on the last day of Ute and Georg's visit, the cat playing frivolously caused an object fall onto the statue shattering her legs and part of her body to pieces. I was crushed too.


After allowing the strong wave of emotion to release, I chose to be  patient and look for the deeper lesson.


Pain always bears gifts if we're open to receive them.


I wondered, when things crash and fall apart, do we need to put our energy into repairing them, or should we release them and start with something new?


Everything happens for good reason.


Closing a circle begun 10 years ago. 


The energy embodied in the statue is no longer relevant. It's ready to be released, and soar.  I am ready to move on.


This statue has chaperoned me for so long, so it's so painful to let it go. And, I am not an idol worshiper and I don't want to go back into ancient times. I choose to stay in the present, knowing that the ultimate authority is inside, rather than outside of me. 


Let the old evolve with the new.


The local shopping center started sponsoring a weekly ceramic workshop. It is a gift for me to return to an old hobby I enjoyed years ago.


Clarity struck like a bolt of lightening...


I'll add new Israeli clay to the old Egyptian clay.


How symbolic! This statue will blend a mixture of ancient and modern, just like the blending of the ancient healing and transformational music modality with it's modern applications.


The mixing and firing of Egyptian and Israeli clay symbolizes:


1) The universal core of both
2) Freedom from bondage to old patterns
3) Respect for heritage
4) Evolvement of old and new


I carefully wrapped the shattered pieces into a plastic bag and waited for Tuesday afternoon's ceramics workshop. To my disappointment, when I arrived, they were already closing up shop.  A substitute teacher had arrived earlier that day.


Taking a step, I took out the statuette and asked her how I could blend the old clay with the new?


 "It's impossible. It'll blow up in the oven. No use. Give it up... And learn to let go!", she added, perhaps thinking that she would offer me a lesson in spirituality...  which she did :-)...


I released my expectation of her providing me an answer and chose to find my own.  Molly Gordon, a coach and true artisan wrote a great article about how the hardest trust to earn is your own.


Last week, I brought the statuette back to the workshop, determined to follow my inner voice guiding me to mix the clays together. To my delight, the regular teacher showed me how to do it, though he said there are no guarantees that it will stay intact in the scorching hot heat of the firing ovens.

Life doesn't offer true guarantees. 


And guarantees don't offer true life. 


If the statuette blows up, so be it. If she survives the heat, she'll be even stronger for it. Either way, the old will evolve something new.


For the time being, I am enjoying the process.  What is YOUR experience?


When things have crashed and fallen apart in your life, have you put  your energy into repairing or did you release and start with something new? 


P.S. Just returned from the pottery workshop where I painted the statuette. Left her with the teacher.who will hopefully bake her in the oven this week. Stay tuned for Part 2!

How Detaining Something Can Help You Attain it More Easily

I'm deep in the throes of re-building and re-launching of my website, making preparations for the launch of Miriam's Secret, and let's just say that it takes alot of patience and faith to bring this whole project to fruition.

At noon we scheduled, once again, to meet with the designer, on skype. I shifted everything around today to be present at that meeting, since the deadlines keep getting pushed back from delay after delay.

Designated hour arrived... no designer. No where to be found. Not available.
First I felt ballistic, then, when I stopped myself and re-rooted myself, went inside, I became mystic.

I listened in earnest to that small deep voice.   It whispered...

"Detainment... can help you attain something much better than what your mind can conceive."

I decided to follow my inner voice, and went on to the next task... It felt so freeing to allow myself the discomfort, without reacting to it, or suppress it.  I actually detained my auto-pilot, control freak, do-it-yourself response, which freed me to move ahead with comfort.

It gave me the time to meet with a Dutch rabbi who is looking to deepen the power of her voice, from the inside out. My voice went "bonko's" in the middle of presenting one of my approaches to her, yet, again, the detainment of a knee jerk reaction, allowed me to demonstrate in real time how to release tension from the voice, when you are feeling alot of inner tension. It relaxed me.

When we finally met later in the day, it was a great productive meeting.

I mozied on over to Anita Diamants wonderful blog "Thinking Out Loud" and was astounded to find this:

When I speak in bookstores or libraries or sisterhood luncheons, I sometimes read a few pages from one of my books. The reviews are generally good. "Do you record your own books?"

I know better. It takes a very good actress to give voice to many characters and maintain consistency for 250+ pages.

But when I was invited to record a passage for The Drum, an online "Literary Magazine for your Ears," I coudn't resist.

Here's the link.
http://www.drumlitmag.com/index.php?page=sounds&catageory=Issue_25._June_2012&display=518

It's okay. I'm not mortified, but even more certain that it's better left to the professionals. 

When you get detained, how do you respond?

Desktop Altar, Anita Diamant & Miriam

On Anita Diamants blog: The Red Tent... and more... she posted a photo of the items on her desktop altar. This was in response to a query from a curious reader. At the end of her post, Anita asked: What is on your desktop altar?

So, I flipped open my trusty cell phone camera and clicked the photo above.
On my desktop altar (from right to left - as befits a Hebrew speaker :-)...

1) Clay statuette of Miriam that I made some seven years ago on a glorious vacation in the Sinai desert. This statuette, fashioned from simple clay mud found in Sinai, which I sealed with simple glue (now peeling), has chaperoned me through countless ancient healing music tours overseas. It's my number one touchstone.

2) An ancient pottery handle which I found in Tel Hazor - an sacred healing music site in northern Galillee. This provides me with something to hold onto... when I don't know where to go next. It provides me with lots of faith.

3) A small Egyptian tambourine. Provides me with the sound of music.

4 & 5) Another ancient pottery handle picked up on a recent visit to Tel Megiddo (Armageddon) and Tel Dor (Phoenician site next to Atlit). These were also important sites for ancient sacred healing music of the biblical prophetesses.

6) Finger cymbals. Hand made in Egypt, I use these to dissipate energy. When I need a break, I ring them. It reminds me of the music I recorded with them in the ancient water well of Zippori.

7) A small peace dove bookmarker gift handmade by a colleague of mine. It reminds me of the beauty of simple aesthetic found in Israel. It calms me.

8) Behind the Miriam statuette - my logo - that includes a statuette of Miriam found in Achziv in the Western Galilee, dating from the Helenistic period. The Hebrew says: Kolot Eden - Havaya Musikaleet Tehorah... which in English means...

Voices of Eden
Pure and Authentic Music Experience

What's on your desktop altar?